I have been asking myself this question a lot recently. It’s often a burden of someone with a little bit of comfort to give room to idle thoughts. I’ve recently become more comfortable in the games. I playing and learning a lot about the game. I’ve had a good run of cards for a few months and I’m almost out of student loan debt.
With a bigger bankroll and more knowledge, my goals have become increasingly lofty.
If you asked me a year ago when I was grinding hold em games for a 3k month, I’d have gladly taken a 4k month in 120 hours every month. There would have been no hesitation.
I’ve gone on a 3k downswing this month to leave me with $6800 after 108 hours of playing, and I am pissed off. I was up 9.5 just a week ago.
That’s $63/hour tax-free.
“Not even the government gets a cut from this”
When I was struggling to pay rent, keep food on the table and pay off debts I wasn’t worried about where I would be in six months, I was considering drinking black coffee all day so I wouldn’t have to eat and spend the money.
Now with a light at the end of the tunnel, being debt-free in a couple of months I start to think about maybe traveling, what else I want to do with my life and time, even starting up this blog was an idea.
Then I read that computers have now beaten humans in No-Limit Hold ‘em, and I start to wonder if the game will be around in 5 years. I don’t want to just make a living playing ceme online poker, I want 6+ figures. We all want the same things, to travel, have money, and the freedom to do as we wish.
But I know that each year the game is getting tougher. Each year I get a little older. Every year I am not developing any job skills. My biggest fear is grinding these games at 30 years old, making less than 6 figures, barely getting by.
I see some of these ghosts every day, the mid-30s with nothing really driving them. Working 100 hours a month at the casino, tax-free, aimlessly existing. Some might say that’s better than an office worker slave wage, but it’s still no life for me.
The world is evolving. It’s not like I’ve been a pro forever, I am literally 20 years behind some of the best pros.
I got here on my brain, my guts, and my coach. I’ll be able to make a living forever, but I want more.
It’s funny I have these thoughts now after finally breaking through in poker and making (sometimes) 5 figures in a month. Why wasn’t I worried when I was literally a bad run of cards from going broke?